Dead Drunk Detective: Oh Christmystery

 

This post is about the series four Christmas special. You can listen to it here.

Christmas spent at your parents' house. Christmas with your friends. For the third instalment in this seasonal trilogy, I thought the next logical plot was the "joys" of hosting Christmas at your place.

This is the first time Johnny's parents - and the show - have visited Johnny's apartment. He previously said he sleeps there so rarely that he expects his landlord wouldn't recognise him.

Betty points out that Johnny rarely uses his gun. I have previously explained this is for practical reasons.

Santa working for the Grim Reaper has been canon in the Dead Drunk Detective universe since series one.

Johnny states he does not eat meat in case it gives him a taste for human flesh. I rewrote dialogue in this scene to make sure it did not imply he eats no food at all. Instead, he just rules out full meals.

As is tradition, the episode ends with a rendition of the minor key version of 'Jingle Bells' and the cast laughing with relief immediately afterwards.

Dead Drunk Detective: Drown and Out

 

This post is about the series four finale of Dead Drunk Detective. You can listen to it here.

Four series in, I knew my format and wanted to see what else the show can do. Betty leads an mystery? Sure. A cosy Christmas special which doubles as a family reunion? Done. A bottle episode which essentially plays out in real time? Well, let's see...

I contemplated writing scenes that act as a counterpart to this plot. These would have been set in the office and feature Betty and Hairy realising that Johnny may be in trouble. I also considered concluding the episode with the police arriving at the brewery, but thought this was too similar to the final showdown in series three. As the final version ended up as a two-hander, this is the only episode in which Betty does not appear.

Despite featuring multiple members of the Van Helsing family, this is the first series in which Dracula (and Charles, the man who plays him) does not appear. He is namechecked here and in the wedding episode, but he could not be in the latter as he would recognise Van Helsing.

Dead Drunk Detective: Dead Letter Day

 

This post is about 'Dead Letter Day' and series four of Dead Drunk Detective. You can listen to the episode here.

This the twenty-fifth episode. While not traditionally hailed as a milestone, I thought to celebrate it, much as I had with the previous Christmas special, by featuring a lot of our series regulars. There's also a few references to past adventures including a nod to episode one and Jo's blackmailing past.

In a reverse of the pilot's premise, Hairy is initially thought to be the intended victim, but the culprit actually wanted to target someone else.

I cannot believe it took so long for me to use the phrase 'not today Satan'.

Satan's remark that some people in Hell actually enjoy being poked with pitchforks is one of the dirtiest jokes I have written since series one.

As with series three, I aimed to make this run a coherent whole. The villain's motive stems from Johnny's actions in 'Here comes the Died'. The final scene takes place in the brewery from episode one, a mystery where the eventual culprit was a character we had not previously "met".

This is also the case with Anne. She was listed in Johnny's rundown of fellow recovering alcoholics in 'Who's the Pawpetrator' and referenced again at the start of this episode. but does not actually appear until the cliffhanger.

Dead Drunk Detective: Who's the Pawpetrator

 This post is about 'Who's the Pawpetrator'. You can listen to the episode here.

I accept that this mystery is pretty grim. Johnny has tackled murders before, but not one where the victim is an animal. Producer Katherine asked me if the dog had to die, so, as a compromise, I added the reveal that there are hellhound puppies. I also tried to keep things light throughout with a double whammy of snake puns and dog puns.

Betty hints towards an explanation for Johnny's previous penchant for booze: he felt it numbed his brain, thus stopping it from zombiefying. He now aims to distract it to similar effect by keeping it preoccupied with mysteries.

Having previously featured A Loch Ness Monster, it made sense to finally bring in the real thing. I asked Jacqueline to play her with a Miss Piggy diva energy. The 'moi?' was a line change suggested at the recording and made the homage more overt.

Dead Drunk Detective: Here Comes the Died

This post is about 'Here Comes the Died'. You can listen to the episode here.

We record the theme tune monologue afresh each episode instead of using the same take every time. Apropos of nothing, Arfie's version this week is quite jovial.

Having said I started doubling up on monsters to make it clear there's not one of each type in town, here I state that not all vampires know each other. However, Johnny points out he's known both zombies that Betty's met - this is a reference to Vince Hampshire and Jacqueline.

Despite getting a pay raise in the series three finale, Betty still needs a second job to make money. To be fair, sleuthing is not a career with a steady income.

Helga and Nick are played by real-life couple Nat and Duncan. I did not write the parts with them in mind and would like to stress that they are not actually obnoxiously cutesy.

Nat plays the dual roles of Betty and Helga, so is frequently talking to herself.

Dead Drunk Detective: Trouble Brewing

This post is about 'Trouble Brewing', the series four premiere of Dead Drunk Detective. You can listen to the episode here.

In the closest we have ever done to a cold open,  it is revealed Johnny's traditional monologue over the theme tune is taking place at a meeting for recovering alcoholics.

This immediately establishes the series four arc: Johnny will try to kick alcohol. It seemed the logical consequence of the series three finale. He got his booze back, but could still be easily taken advantage of if someone someone stops his supply again. Plus, his drunkenness is part of the show's title - him dealing with his predilection for scotch was a story I would inevitably have to tackle eventually.

Betty is played in series four by Nat. She was originally cast as a character in a later episode, but was bumped up when Kate was unavailable to reprise the role. The pair are close friends and so, with the latter's permission, we gave Nat the part for the whole run to maintain continuity.

The ongoing mystery of Betty's surname continues. This time I go as far as ruling out names, thus limiting my options should I ever decide to make one canon. In this episode, Betty confirms it is neither Adams, Smith, or Wilson.

This is the third series opener where the crime is a theft (the first episode of each season has the job of reintroducing the premise for new listeners, so I tend to keep the case being solved relatively clean-cut). However, this is probably the first mystery in the show where the culprit is a character we do not meet.

Dead Drunk Detective: The Ghost of Christmas Present

 

This post contains spoilers for 'The Ghost of Christmas Present'. You can listen to the episode here.

As the previous special focused on spending Christmas at your parents' house, I thought this one should be about sharing the holidays with your friends. This meant I could feature all of our series regulars and give them each a scene in which to shine and do their character's schtick.

This is one of the few times Melissa visits and is not roped in to solving a mystery.

'A vampire party goes all night! Because if it was at day, he would die' is one of my favourite jokes in the entire series.

In the previous episode, Johnny said he doesn't send Christmas cards. It is revealed by Hairy that he did - but they were written by Betty.

Satan implies that God exists in the Dead Drunk Detective universe.

Singing 'Jingle Bells' in the show more than once makes it a tradition! To maintain continuity, Dan sat out of the song as Satan would be at The Cough Inn during the party.

For the second episode in the row, the final sound before the credits is the cast breaking character and laughing. The podcast also ends with an outtake of Kate and Arfie having fun with the line 'you can say that again'.

Dead Drunk Detective: Zombeaten

 
This post contains spoilers for 'Zombeaten' and series three of Dead Drunk Detective. You can listen to the episode here.

Arfie does another alternate take on the theme tune monologue. To reflect Johnny's desperation, he sounds frantic and stressed.

This is a pretty dark episode. Johnny goes out to the woods fully expecting to die. He only avoids it through bumping into an acquaintance and Betty sending reinforcements.

Frank points out that zombies are famously 'pretty damn slow'. I do not think I have previously subverted or used this trope in the series before. There is rarely an opportunity to use it. As this is an audio medium, we are unlikely to feature a chase.

In keeping with my desire to not include references which date the show to a specific era, I drop a line from one of the most famous plays of all time. Johnny's 'words words words' is a allusion to Hamlet.

I worked really hard to make this series more interconnected and work as a coherent whole. Hence this finale pulls in the client from episode one, the location and titular character from episode four, and follows on from the action in episode five.

The episode finishes with Kate breaking the fourth wall to acknowledge that the final line is setting up the next Christmas special. This was not scripted. I think it is a nice touch - it means the last thing you hear before Katharine reads the credits is the cast laughing.

Dead Drunk Detective: Alcohauled

 

This post contains spoilers for the episode 'Alcohauled'. You can listen to it here.

This episode reveals something that has never previously been discussed: Johnny's motive for staying sozzled. 

After the previous season's look at Johnny's attitude towards being one of the undead, I wanted to explore another aspect of his new life. Thus Series three is all about the potential consequences of him sobering up. Johnny tells Jo he has been drinking ever since he turned, so believes being drunk has helped him retain his humanity and stopped him from going full-zombie.

This is not only the second time Cat has been cast a skeleton, but the second time she has played a skeleton who was (partly) responsible for committing the crime.

The intense final scene confrontation clocks in at almost five minutes and was recorded in pretty much a single take. The post-credit outtake is Arfie breaking the tension afterwards by making light of its seriousness.

Dead Drunk Detective: The Game's a Bigfoot

 

This post is about 'The Game's a Bigfoot'. You can listen to the episode here.

Back in series one, every character with a full name bar Johnny Stumbles were joke names (Hairy Potter. A skeleton called Reba Cage). Betty's original intended surname was similarly punny: Drinks - making her 'bet he drinks'. I scrapped this idea, but didn't come up with a substitute, jokey or otherwise, hence the ongoing mystery around it here.

Continuing my deeper dive into monsters, this episode revolves around the search for a cryptid.

This is an unusual case in that there are no suspects. The only non-recurring character in the episode is Bigfoot and he, once found, only utters a single line.

Although they don't talk to each other directly as Hairy and Bigfoot, this is the third episode in which Steff and Charles are paired together. They previously shared scenes as The Monster and Frankenstein and later as Hairy and Dracula.

Dead Drunk Detective: Deface Off

 

This post covers 'Deface Off', an episode of long-running podcast Betty. You can listen to it here.

Occasionally a joke made by the cast during a recording session will inspire a script idea. In this case, a Betty-centric episode was first suggested in an improvised edition of the show.

To publicise our second series, some of the cast staged a ten minute live set at the inaugural Hoopla Improv Marathon. During the adventure, Kate (as Betty) joked that she was to "spinoff out of the office".

It's not the only project that has been pitched to me by the cast - David and Lizzy suggested a show called My Son The Zombie. While I'm grateful that people find working on the series so much fun that they would love to do more, I currently don't have the capacity to write a second show alongside Dead Drunk Detective. I liked the premise of a Betty-centric mystery though, so produced this episode.

In a nod to his feigned illness, Arfie adopts a sniffy bunged up voice for Johnny's theme tune monologue and first voiceover,

Is this the first time it is mentioned Johnny wears a hat? Certainly the zombie in the podcast title card is pictured with one, but I do not believe I have never made a reference to what Stumbles' outfit looks like.

Unsure whether it was covered by parody law, I previously avoided making an explicit reference to Pennywise. In this episode, I directly namecheck the babadook.

Dead Drunk Detective: What's Got into Betty?

This post covers 'What's Got into Betty?'. If you want to avoid spoilers, you can listen to the episode here.

Having featured the most famous monsters in the past two series, I started to delve deeper into supernatural lore for this run. Hence the drude this week and the nautical beasts in the prior episode.

Betty's announcement that she wants to no longer be targeted - 'I'm sick of being used to freak you out' - was my way of declaring that I would stop making Betty a victim. I did not want her being hurt to be a recurring motive to spur Johnny to action.

Episode two ends with the case closed, but the motive behind it an unresolved mystery. This was my attempt to make the storyline a bit more serialised. In previous runs, the first episode of each series would reintroduce the status quo, the second would be a standalone, and the third would hint towards the series arc's upcoming Big Bad.

The post-credits outtake has Arfie deliver the closing line 'guess I'm going... BACK TO SCHOOL' as if it's said with a look to camera and a cheesy guitar riff to transition to the next scene.

Dead Drunk Detective: Hook, Line, and Stinker

This post is about 'Hook, Line, and Stinker', the series three premiere of Dead Drunk Detective. You can listen to it here.

Series three sounds a little different. Well done to any armchair detective who immediately spotted the reason why. There's no studio audience!

After two series of performing these live, we decided to go in studio. While we always left room for additional pickups during the theatre shows, we had a tight schedule. Relocating to the Podcast Pioneers base gave us the luxury of time. I can relax a little, knowing we won't get booted out if we run late.

One consequence of losing the audience reaction is the episodes are a little shorter. I do not consider this a downside - the dialogue is snappier because the back and forth repartee now flows uninterrupted.

I had to do a rewrite at the recording because one of the countries I picked for Davy Jones' list of enemies was landlocked.

Just as I've previously typecast Nat as ghosts, this is the second time Cat has starred as a skeleton.

Dead Drunk Detective: Scary Christmas

This post covers the first Dead Drunk Detective Christmas special. You can listen to the episode here.

Family, ugly knitwear, and a singalong - 'Scary Christmas' truly has everything you would want in a seasonal special. I could not resist writing a yuletide show, with all the tropes that entails, and putting a Dead Drunk Detective spin on it.

This is the first time that producer Katharine serves as the episode announcer.

While ostensibly acting as an additional finale for season two, the special makes references to, and features a villain from, the first series.

In continuing my preference for keeping locations vague, it is not specified where Hugh and Sarah live, but Betty and Johnny had to take a flight there.

Ah, the singalong. I've always loved whenever a television show does a musical episode and a Christmas special seemed as good as an excuse as any to have the cast sing. I specified 'Jingle Bells' in the script, then producer Katharine found the minor key arrangement we used in the show. To make sure she had multiple takes to choose from, we recorded a take before the audience arrived, but ultimately primarily (if not exclusively) used the live version.

Arfie's reaction to that take is included in the show as a post-credits tag. Ending episodes with an outtake from the show becomes more common in series three.

Dead Drunk Detective: The Con Test

 

This post is about the series two finale of Dead Drunk Detective. You can listen to the episode here.

An important bit of geography is established: the Cough Inn is near Johnny's office. Which suggests he only goes there because it is convenient. This episode suggests it's certainly not because of the quick service (although the bartenders being busy was largely a practical decision - it meant I was not obliged to include an arbitrary appearance for Jo).

Given that they are both zombies, it is slightly apt that Jackie and Johnny are competing in a battle of braaains.

I rarely have Johnny carry a firearm. This is not a moral stance. It is just difficult to convey gun fights via radio.

Jackie's 'I'll be back' was not included simply because it's a cliché. I genuinely wanted to keep my options open in case I decided villains came back each series with the frequency that they do in Doctor Who.

Jackie's surname is never referred to in the script or credits. My private joke among the cast is that it is 'Daniels', thus making her name a nod to whiskey brand Jack Daniels.

Dead Drunk Detective: Rest in Pieces

This post will make more sense if you have already listened to 'Rest in Pieces', the fifth episode of series two. You can find it here.

Betty and Melissa tag team insulting Johnny is a joy. Writing putdowns for Betty is so much fun and doubly so when they're delivered in tandem.

The first suspect is a generic killer clown who lives in a sewer. Try and prove otherwise, Stephen King.

The screams from Hell are our collected cast moaning and were recorded at our producers' house.

Series one established Johnny's status quo with only the slightest hint of an outside life in Melissa. With series two, I wanted to further explore his past. Pitting him against Jackie, the zombie who bit him, allowed me to explore this, plus his attitude towards being one of the walking dead.

The audience cheer after Jackie declares she'll rip off Johnny's head. This is hopefully because they enjoy Sophie's melodramatic performance, rather than encouraging this behaviour.

Satan once again delivers the line 'to be continued...'.

Dead Drunk Detective: Where Wolf

 

If you want to listen to 'Where Wolf' before reading about the episode, you can find it here.

I have repeatedly mentioned how much I like casting Steff and writing for the puppyish powerhouse of positivity that is Hairy Potter. This episode marks the logical endgame of that: two versions of Johnny's lupine pal.

If you establish that a character is a werewolf, you absolutely want to see them transform. Hairy wolfing out is the fulfilment of that promise - and also allows me to heighten the joke of his dog-like energy by having him chase after a stick.

With two Hairies hanging around, plus a pair of series favourites in the form of Drac and Jo, there is a lot going on in this episode. So much so that this is the first edition that does not mention scotch.

Betty's comment regarding the 'here's Johnny' reference - 'I can't believe you haven't made that joke before' - is me calling myself out for previously missing such an obvious gag.

Johnny's offhandedly remarks that he'll 'probably be killed in five' years. This remains to be seen - the show has only run for four series so far.

Dead Drunk Detective: No Body There

This post is about the third episode of series two. If you want to avoid spoilers, you can listen to 'No Body There' here.

Ah, 'No Body There' AKA 'the one with Johnny's parents'. It stood to reason that if Johnny has been avoiding his  sister's calls, then he also hasn't seen his mum and dad in a while, hence this story.

Episodes in which we meet characters' parents are always fun to watch. There are only ever two scenarios. Either their offspring are carbon copies of their forebears or the complete opposite of them. As Dead Drunk Detective is a comedy, it was obvious that the latter was the best way to go.

Sure, Johnny's witty rejoinders can have a touch of a Dad Joke about them, but his grumpy demeanour is set against Sarah and Hugh's relentless cheeriness. He rebelled against his parents by being a bit of a dick.

Speaking of which, 'kick a bloody bat in the Hell' is one of the strongest swears in the series. I tend to imagine I am writing for a pre-watershed Radio 4 comedy, so 'damn' and 'shit' are usually the harshest words used (with 'damn' usually be said in relation to Satan).

It was at this point in the series that I realised I had not repeated many of the monsters featured in the show. Not wanting to suggest there was only one of each, I started to reuse some. The previous episode was full of ghosts and this one features a new witch. Plus, Vince Hampshire (the surname is a nod to the county where I went to university) suggests there may be another zombie...

Dead Drunk Detective: Look Who's Stalking

 

If you do not want any spoilers for 'Look Who's Stalking', listen to the episode first.

This is an unusually sweet episode of Dead Drunk Detective. Although Johnny having a young ghoul join his 'super cool ragtag crew of mystery solvers' is ultimately a pipe dream, it is fun to see the isolated sleuth warm to the idea of having a family.

The ghost child was just as cute in person. During the recording, Mark W wore a propeller beanie - a coloured cap with a propeller on top.

I refuse to answer questions about the time Johnny argued with a pigeon.

Floaty gets an underappreciated reaction from the audience, IMO.

Just in case it's unclear - Floaty's pal gives both his full name and profession. He is Paul T Geist, poltergeist.

I doubt anyone wondered how Johnny always has a drink at hand, but this episode has Betty hint that they order in crates of booze to the office.

Johnny's speech in the park is a rare instance of a monologue within the show that is not a noir-style voiceover.

Nat plays both Floaty and the kid's mom (named in the credits as Ghoulia), so I guess I've typecast her as ghosts. Which, as problems to have go, ain't that bad...

Dead Drunk Detective: Brought to Book

 

This post covers 'Brought to Book', the first episode of series two of Dead Drunk Detective. You can listen to it here.

Welcome to series two!

Having learnt a lot from the first season, I codified the format a little more, but still leave room to experiment a little. The biggest change is that this and subsequent runs now include a Christmas episode.

One holdover is we still have a live audience (whose reactions to the 'got the hump' joke alone justify their presence). This series was recorded across two nights at the Leicester Square Theatre. Fittingly, the room we used has since been converted into a bar.

Throughout the first few years of the show, I continually wrestled with how best to pitch the performances. Are we a Radio 4 play or a cartoon? Should the actors play it straight or put on a loud exaggerated voice? After Balfar and Korlock's shouting match, I tended to favour the latter. This influence can be seen in the Adam and Frankenstein arguments in this episode.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there are not currently any images of The Loch Ness Monster on a surfboard. Get on it, fans!

Betty wilfully being immature is always a delight.