What Time is it on?

In the process of trying to work our TV, my flatmate recently stumbled across a catch-up service notice announcing 'Yesterday - coming soon'. Immediately, he turned to me (where I was sat helping as best as I could AKA making sure I was out of the way) and said "you should write about that on your blog".

Well, not wanting to succumb to peer pressure, I ignored him. How dare he suggest what I put on here! Then I remembered how hard it is to find things to be pedantic about if you're not actively looking for them so here goes.


via http://gettingworse.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/yesterday.jpg

As much fun the quasi-philosophical truism that is 'Yesterday - coming soon' is, it is trumped by the even more ridiculous 'Yesterday will return at 6AM' title card that is screened at the end of a day's programming (and is among the channel's top-rated content, second only to that episode of Time Team when one of the old blokes slightly slips in the mud). This suggests that yesterday is confined to dawn onward. If it's still dark, it can't be yesterday even if it's after midnight and you've been asleep for several hours having gone to bed in the afternoon because you had a headache from watching too many old episodes of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. You say it's yesterday? I say it's still today. Yesterday won't arrive until the small hand reaches six, alright? You don't like it - go complain to the Talking Clock!

Of course, this isn't the most confusion that can be caused by a channel named after a measure of time. No, the set of circumstances I would like to see fall into place are incredibly long-winded and convoluted, but, if they occurred, would ensure one hell of a ride. Bear with me.

Imagine that Yesterday expanded its remit to include comedy (no, that Time Team episode doesn't count) such as Chris Morris' 1994 newsroom spoof. To tease this show ahead of its station premiere, UKTV runs a trailer campaign with two actors - one, a stalwart of Joss Whedon projects, and the other, a West End star. Just before it hits our screens, they play a big final announcement.

You ready?

"Today's the day Day and Day bring The Day Today to Yesterday. More tomorrow."

At which point people throw their watches and clocks at the TV and decide to play outside.