Have I Got Muse(ums) For You! - Part Two

In Part One, I was in London's Natural History Museum. In Part Two, I'm in London's Science Museum. Well, obviously, I'm not still there. I definitely did not hide in their Apollo 10 command module around closing time in order to write this blog on location.

Anyway, whilst I was/am there, I saw some things. They include...



MUGS WITH ATTITUDE.

THE WORLD'S BIGGEST ENGAGEMENT RING.

A SURPRISINGLY TACKY SPACE SHUTTLE.

THE MOST INTIMIDATING-LOOKING FRIENDLY FACE EVER.

AND THE CAST OF SOMEONE WHOSE DOCTOR CLEARLY HAS COLD HANDS.

That's all for now. I've got to run from security. Wish me luck!

Have I Got Muse(ums) For You - Part One!

This fourth entry in my occasional Things I Have Seen Presented In The Form Of A List series is a bumper two parter because I recently went to see two museums in a day and so saw twice as many things! Hooray! Does that increase the likelihood of me seeing something interesting? Probably! Will you stay until the end of this post to find out? Probably not!

Regardless, let's start at London's Natural History Museum. I saw...

SOME ART THAT'S REALLY CRAP.

A BUTTON THAT MUST NEVER BE PRESSED.

Seriously, whoever invented this was really irresponsible.

SOME SORT OF TIME MACHINE.

A SIGN INDICATING WHERE TO FIND GIANT PALEONTOLOGISTS.

AND A WOMAN WHO FEELS THE NEED TO SHOW WHERE HER DOG IS.

In Part Two, you'll see images from London's Science Museum. It was there I spent most of my visit compulsively hummed the theme to Back to the Future. Great Scott! Anyway, those pics coming soon...

Fifty Shades of Way

My flatmate challenged me to write an erotic scene of no more than one hundred words. Not wanting to disappoint (and also hoping to start a run of pieces done on request to mark this blog hitting 1,234 views), I produced this. You'll be happy to know I didn't keep my original last line - 'Then we had lots of lovely lovely sex'.

I saw her from across the room. She sees me looking and smiles. I don’t know how to react. She gives me a little wave. I wave back. She comes over and touches my arm.

‘Do you want to get out of here?'

I gulp. I really really do. Should I go with this complete stranger? For all I know she could be a psychopath. She is quite attractive though so why not? After all, you only live once.

I turn to her and nod. She takes my hand and we run off upstairs to find ourselves a room…

Sorry for the Quality of this Apology

THINGS WORTH APOLOGISING FOR:

*Hitting someone

*Hitting someone with a car

*Hitting someone's car

*Hitting on someone's car

*Sleeping with someone else's car even though they're in a long-term relationship with it

*Unwittingly turning what should be a list of silly things into one involving intercourse with automobiles

*Unwittingly turning into a poodle

*Unwittingly turning a poodle into a cat

*Wittingly turning a poodle into a cat

*Wittily turning a poodle into a cat

*Wittily insulting someone and not meaning it

*Wittily insulting someone's loved one and not meaning it

*Not-so-wittily insulting someone or their loved one and not meaning it


THINGS NOT WORTH APOLOGISING FOR:

Updating a blog on a regular basis as it is a hobby and not something you've been paid to do or something you've been asked to do. You do not owe anybody anything. Stop saying 'sorry' - it's not as if you called someone's a nan a nincompoop. Thank you!